Choosing a memory care facility is not something most of us wake up thrilled to do. It’s not like picking brunch spots or a paint color for the guest bathroom. It’s serious business—emotional, complex, and often full of uncertainty (plus, there are brochures involved—so many brochures).
At Senior Care Love, we’ve walked alongside many families making this exact decision. And while no two journeys are the same, there are certain truths we’ve learned along the way (some of them the hard way—shout out to the tour where someone forgot their dentures on the piano bench. Yes, really). So whether you’re just beginning your search or knee-deep in Google tabs that all blur together, we’re here—with a cup of tea and a list.
Start With the Basics (aka: Do They Have Hot Coffee?)
Before we even talk about amenities or memory-specific therapies, let’s start at the very beginning: what does your loved one need? Not just in terms of medical care, but also emotionally, socially, and spiritually.
A good memory care facility should do more than provide safety and structure—it should feel like a home. Not necessarily your home (unless your home has on-site nurses, music therapy, and Wednesday morning chair yoga), but a place where dignity, routine, and kindness are built in.
We recommend visiting facilities in person when possible—because no website can tell you how it feels to walk into the common room at 2:00 PM on a Tuesday (are people engaged? Is it quiet? Or is someone loudly insisting they were once married to Elvis?). These things matter.
Location, (But Make It Logical)
We’ve seen many families bend over backward to choose a facility that’s “close” to everyone—and end up with something that’s conveniently inconvenient for all. Here’s the truth: someone will end up visiting more than others, and that’s okay.
Choose a location that’s practical for the person who will likely be the most involved—be it a daughter, niece, or that one reliable cousin who always brings soup. Proximity encourages more visits, more consistency, and less stress—trust us, the less time you spend fighting traffic on I-95, the more energy you’ll have for meaningful moments.
Staff That Knows Your Aunt Edna Is Not a Morning Person
Staff is the beating heart of any memory care facility and their attitude makes all the difference. Look for a team that not only knows the protocols but also cares.
We’re talking about the kind of caregivers who remember that your Aunt Edna prefers chamomile over Earl Grey and doesn’t do mornings without at least one gentle nudge and a muffin.
Ask about staff-to-resident ratios. Ask how long staff tend to stay (a high turnover rate is a red flag—unless it’s about pancakes, in which case, go forth and flip). And watch how they talk to the residents. Are they patient? Respectful? Do they smile with their eyes or just their mouths?
Programming That’s Not Just BINGO (No Offense to Bingo)
Not all activities are created equal—and a truly great Senior Care Living facility goes beyond puzzles and holiday crafts. Look for programming tailored to cognitive ability, personal interests, and daily rhythms.
We once toured a facility that offered pet therapy with miniature horses, and to this day, we swear we saw a resident light up in a way no crossword puzzle ever achieved. That’s what we mean by thoughtful engagement—activities that aren’t just time-fillers, but joy-bringers.
Safety Matters (But So Does Dignity)
Yes, memory care is about safety—locked doors, secured courtyards, alarms that gently alert staff if someone wanders—but it shouldn’t feel like a prison.
A good memory care facility balances safety with freedom, structure with flexibility. Residents should be able to walk, explore, and have agency—while still being protected. Ask about their philosophy on independence. (And don’t be afraid to ask how they handle aggression or sundowning episodes—transparency here is key.)
Let’s Talk Money (We Know, We Know)
No one likes to talk about cost, but it’s the elephant in the dining room. Memory care can be expensive, and costs vary dramatically based on location, amenities, and level of care.
Be sure you understand what’s included in the monthly fee—and what isn’t. Are there extra charges for laundry? Medication management? Do they charge extra for birthday cake, because if so—we have questions.
Ask about financial assistance, long-term care insurance, and veteran’s benefits. A good facility will help you navigate the financials with compassion—not confusion.
A Moment of Real Talk
Several years ago, we helped a dear friend choose a memory care facility for her dad. He was a jazz lover, a crossword king, and very much not a morning person. The first place we visited felt sterile—like a hospital with art. The second had charm, but no structure.
The third place? They had jazz playing softly in the afternoon, a nurse who recited poetry, and the front desk clerk knew his name before we even signed in. He lived there for two years, and every time we visited, he was either humming or trying to cheat at Scrabble. It wasn’t perfect—but it was home.
Final Thought (Because We Never Say Goodbye Without One)
At Senior Care Love, we like to remind families that choosing a memory care facility isn’t about finding perfection—it’s about finding fit. The place that honors your loved one’s story, quirks, needs, and dignity.
It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. It’s okay to cry in the parking lot (we’ve been there). But know this—when you find the right place, it won’t just feel like relief. It will feel like love with a plan.
And really, isn’t that what this whole journey’s about?
FAQs
Q1: What is the difference between assisted living and memory care?
A: Memory care offers specialized services for individuals with Alzheimer’s or other dementias. It includes higher staff-to-resident ratios, tailored activities, and enhanced safety protocols.
Q2: How much does a memory care facility cost?
A: On average, memory care can cost between $4,000–$7,000 per month. Costs vary by region, facility, and level of care.
Q3: What should I look for on a tour?
A: Observe staff interactions, cleanliness, resident engagement, meal quality, safety measures, and overall vibe. Trust your gut—if it feels wrong, it probably is.
Q4: Is memory care covered by Medicare or insurance?
A: Medicare doesn’t typically cover long-term memory care. However, Medicaid, long-term care insurance, and VA benefits may help offset costs.
Q5: When is the right time to consider memory care?
A: If safety is a concern, daily tasks become overwhelming, or if caregiving becomes too demanding, it may be time to explore memory care options
